Belly to Belly

It's so easy to agree to a meeting over the internet. Next week I will sit and read the news while you act like you are engaged and tell me about what you're doing. You can sit in the comfort of your own home, and spend all day talking to people, then complain about how long your workday was. It's actually a great situation

But if you want to raise dust and cause chaos in the world... it's the worst thing you can do.

I call this

Recently I've been struck with Zoom Gloom, otherwise known as the "career colonoscopy." Now why a colonoscopy? They're really important... when they're needed. But getting one every Tuesday before work will just turn you into a propophyl addict.

Instead, go meet people and sit next to each other. Feel the magic of getting belly to belly.

Why care

Meeting in person has helped me build a relatively interesting life. Getting belly to belly has gotten me out of the office and into a more vital form of living. Getting belly to belly isn't just about meeting people, it's about being confronted by experiences.

Last year I was fired. Rightfully so... my area of responsibility imploded and I was disengaged from the work. Afterwards I got to do some crazy stuff, like sailing the Baltic sea with a group of 12 year olds, deep diving into AI again, traveling, and hustling as a freelancer. After a while, I began to get down on myself.

As great as it sounds, I was working for very cheap on things that were not of interest to me. So I decided to get belly to belly with as many people as I could. I met with everyone who was even a bit interesting and used every opportunity I had to shake babies and kiss hands.

I wanted to build interesting technology with amazing people.

I then stumbled into the trick.

When I got belly to belly things always became very interesting very quickly. Just this week my partner and made massive progress by finding someone who is an expert and smashing convention by forcing ourselves to get belly to belly. For that we got 5 hours of advice that cannot be paid for.

Why getting in the same room works

People are happiest when they are helping their team win. We are communal animals. Our deepest desires are to create win win situations. It's how a mid sized ape migrated to the top of the food chain; teamwork, tools and opposable thumbs.

However, there is still threshold you must meet before people want to help you. You're still trying out for the team! Every time you introduce yourself to someone for the first time, they're thinking about three things.

1. Can I trust this person? Do they seem like a person I can grow to like or do they skin cats in their spare time?

2. Do I care about what they're doing? Is it relevant to my interests, personal or professional?

3. Are they credible? Do they know someone I know? Are they really good at anything in particular?

The basic task in any conversation is to get three enthusiastic yes's. The easiest way to get those yes's is very surprising. Be authentic. Be curious. Be kind. It's all anyone wants.

Ditch Zoom Gloom. Get Belly to Belly.